Training wheels

And so it dawns upon me. The change. The excitement. The final goodbyes. They all inch so ever close. Days pass by like mere minutes. Life’s moving too fast for me. I always was looking forward to this next step. I still am; it’s what I’m leaving behind which scares me. As I write this, memories, relationships, moments, events and occasions fly by my mind. I owe a lot to these four years- I lost and discovered myself over a million times; I grew up; I built relationships and I learnt a lot of what life has to offer.
It’s no lie that I’m scared. It’s the good scared. Leaving behind these relationships and moving away from my family to fend for myself. It’s tough but ever so real.
I think I’m ready but, then again, could you ever be so ready for something you’re not sure of what to expect from.
Leaving to university means saying bye to a lot of people I love and the scariest bit is not knowing if you’re ever going to keep in touch with the people you hold ever so dear right now.
I guess it’s a leap of faith we all have to take and experience for ourselves.
To those doing the same, I wish them and myself all the best. The training wheels have to come off at some point.

Firsts

We’ve all been there. The nerves, the jittery feels, the curiosity of doing something for the first time. Whatever it is, be it riding your bike,, your first day of school or even your first pint. 

As exciting as those can be, they’re often daunting. It’s the first and the biggest hurdle; the steepest mountain and the biggest challenge. It often takes a lot of persuasion and self motivation to overcome what lies ahead, with the anticipation that it gets better after. 

But the best part of a ‘first time’ is that once its been done, you usually have the courage to keep at it. The once biggest challenge miniaturises into the smallest step that needed to be taken. It enables you to help yourself that firsts are a must and is a confidence builder. The only way you get to The Majors, is through the Little Leagues. 

And then again, what’s wrong with the “been there, done that” feeling?

Leaving Familiarity

In the midst of undergraduate admission hype- with acceptances, offers and rejections, one thing  struck me the most. Everything which is familiar, and we take to be as just the ‘normal’ will change so radically. Friends, family, home, school, city, life- everything will change and so suddenly.

Personally, I’ve always wanted this. A new setting. Turning a new page in the book of life (as cliché as that gets). I’ve always relished the opportunity for something different, new and exciting. Optimistic that whatever is out there waiting for me is going to be fresh and different.

But then it hit me, people you consider your friends for life- faces so familiar will just be gone, leading their own lives. And I’m not so sure I’m ready for that. But then again, when are we perfectly ready for anything?

Leaving familiarity. That’s probably the best way to put it, and I’m cautiously optimistic, but still completely relishing the path my life is headed.

Leaving familiarity.

There’s a universal truth we all have to face. Whether we want to or not. Everything eventually ends. Much as I’ve looked forward to this day, I’ve always disliked endings…

“No one likes a one trick pony…” Four people on what they would tell their 19 year old selves.

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I would tell myself to continue on with my education. Things actually get more easier as you get older. You have more resources and freedom to avoid things that you want to avoid and do things that you want to do.

Education is empowering- the more education you have, the more freedom you have.

And that’s what I think I needed to hear. I was in university and I found it quite challenging and I think that this kind of encouragement, just to stick with it and not to get stressed out.

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• Get a respectable body- be it through gymming or swimming. Please!
• Don’t lose sight of your passions. Continue to watch Centre Court finals, or drool over Wenger’s diplomacy- this was my life then, please let it be my life now.
• Focus. You’re there for a reason; you know what that reason is, and only you know it. Don’t even think about deviating.
• Keep an emotional relationship with those you’re supposed to!
• Broaden your music taste. Indie and alternative won’t cut it (that being said, don’t go back on Dubstep, yuck!)

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• Never trust too early. That being said, be fiercely loyal to those you trust.
• Every setback happens for a reason. Always ensure you have options.
• Conform to your terms. Always pursue happiness, not money.

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• Know the difference between motivation and obsession. A lot of times you’ve freaked out about things that in the long run, don’t matter. Have balance. Do your best and kill it, but when you don’t, it’s okay.
• Follow through with something beyond academics; something new- no one likes a one trick pony.  You’ve started 43506 other things but never finished them. Start something, finish it. See how you feel at the end, then keep going.
• Never give up your morals for anyone else- anyone worth it won’t make you change them. I’ve  lost a lot of respect for people who did. Don’t be that person.
• Don’t say anything about someone that you wouldn’t say to their face.  It’s a conniving thing that small people do. Whatever you say, make sure you have the audacity to straight up say it to someones face.
• Know your priorities. Family first (call mother often). No matter what happens, they are the only people who will have your back 5460890694%. You love them the most- make sure they know that.

What would you Tell your 19 year old self?

Recently, I read a post on what older people would tell their 19-year-old selves, and it struck me as interesting what people, after experiencing a lot of their life would tell their younger selves.

We’re always told that teen years are probably the best years of our lives- and it just gets tougher and tougher from here on. Experiencing this first hand, I tend to laugh these things off- we’re in a phase where pressures and complexities at school have reached sky scraper heights; the burdens of a wider, more open community along with social pressures tend to hold us down and we live in an extremely scrutinised era, where every move we make is watched and critiqued. How could this make our years the ‘best’ years of our lives?

So this got me to thinking, if people could- younger or older- what would they tell their 19-year-old selves?
Most teenagers have learnt enough life lessons for them to remember for the rest of their lives, and a lot of adults wish they could have told themselves things that would have changed or influenced their younger lives.

My aim is to talk to teens younger than 19 and people over 19 to ask them what ONE thing they could tell their 19-year-old selves if they had the chance to.

Why am I doing this? Well it’s always important to learn life lessons from the experienced and always important to remind ourselves of who we are.

So, in this social experiment, some would say, I plan on posting (with their consent) the things people would tell their 19 year old selves.

If you stumble across this project, and want to participate, just title a blog post, “Things I would tell my 19 year old self” and post the link of the post in the comments of this post. Also tag it with “my 19 year old self”

Get Down to Doing it

There are always things you tell yourself that you will do at “some stage in your life”. Don’t kid yourself saying you’ll do it one day, or next year, because next year, when the time comes, you’ll postpone it to the year following. If you want something or want to say something just go ahead and do it.

1. If there’s always a place you’ve wanted to visit or travel, save up and go there. There’s no point looking at photos online and sighing about how you’re unable to go there, and that you would if you really could.
2. There’s no point telling yourself, “I’ll start reading that book once my life gives me time”. Hold up right there, life doesn’t give you time. It’s always going to be one thing or another. You just have to make time for something, if you’re serious about it.
3. If you want to be with someone, there’s no point hiding about how you feel, hoping somehow they would magically, through the mysteries of the universe find out. Be bold, be straight up and just tell them. It saves you the “what ifs” thoughts and you won’t hate yourself.
4. We all have the band we’d want to check off our bucket list. Stalk them, find tour dates, get tickets and go watch them. You’ll thank yourself
5. Get out of your comfort zone once in a while. Go out, talk to people you wouldn’t usually talk to and socialise much more.
6. Stop going around people’s backs if you have issues with them. If you do, confront them straight up and address the issue.
7. Visit your old ‘favourite places’. Visit places you’ve had bad memories at- get over the emotions and realise you’re a new person altogether.
8. If there’s something you’ve wanted to learn- a skill or an instrument, just go out, sign up for classes and do it. If you keep pushing it forward, you’re never going to get down to doing it. There’s probable no time better than right now to start.
9. Lastly, create some reflective time for yourself. If you are able to be comfortable with your own company and you get over the lonely feeling, you’ll realise that you’re a much more secure person on the whole.

“The universe with its endless possibilities is waiting for you to ask…ask for what you want.”

Early Decisions

Life has its ways of hitting you in the gut, and this weekend, it did exactly that.

Probably the worst feeling is getting rejected, and sometimes it’s getting rejected from your dream, which tends to hurt doubly as hard. This weekend, I realised that I got turned out from my dream university. The build up: anticipation; waking up in cold sweats randomly at night refreshing your email and nervousness all came to a quick and abrupt end.

It didn’t hit me hard the evening I got the email, but the next morning, I had to convince myself to fight through the feelings and carry on like it was a normal day. It takes a lot to get out of bed fighting.

But as they say, there’s always some good that comes from rejection and failure. It made me realise that even though life deals you 2 and a 7, you just have to realise when to fold. Then you realise that the only way you form new goals and dreams are by old ones not being met.

Sometimes, you just have to come out swinging at life and hit whatever life throws at you out of the park, because one failure, or multiple failures don’t define you. You define you- and once you learn that, life can throw boulders at you, but you won’t move an inch.

So here’s to more broken dreams, new successes and a stronger you.

Productive Procrastination

We’ve all heard the ominous phrase that procrastination is a sin. But let’s look at it from another point of view. There has to be some good aspects to it… right?

So while procrastinating yet another assignment, i got to thinking, what are the good aspects of procrastination- surely there had to be some, and voila! Turns out there are.

1) You work better under pressure.

We all know that person who puts off tasks till the very last hour as he/ she claims to work well under stress. There is some truth in that. Under stressful conditions, ones thought processes and cognitive thinking works faster and better, therefore they are able to produce some of the best ideas under pressure.

2) By procrastinating, you spend time doing what you like

We’ve all put aside work to watch one more episode of your favourite TV show ( more like 5 more episodes). Or you’d rather read a book, or write or travel- you figure out what you truly enjoy doing when you procrastinate.

3) Greater Creativity

When you have a deadline looming over your shoulder, you decrease the time to second guess yourself, because you just don’t have time for that. Therefore, this makes you go with your best ideas that come into your mind without judging them. This allows you to go with your ideas, therefore allowing you to be more experimental and creative with your ideas.

4) Perfectly done; not done perfectly

Besides that being a slight tongue twister, there is some logic behind that. When you work on something for hours and days, your focus is more on getting it done perfectly. When you work on a limited time frame, you’re more worried about getting your best work- idea wise out there, since there isn’t enough time to go back and rework it.

5) It all gets done eventually

If you’re an active procrastinator, you’ve learnt to trust yourself that you’ll get all the things done. By doing that, you ensure your best work is put out and you meet the deadline. This works on a basic psychological principle, that is: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. This principle was devised by Robert Benchley. 

Redundant Things We’re all guilty off

So here’s a list of things we do, which in hindsight are the most pointless things ever…

1. That moment when you open your fridge door way too often, it’s about to fall off (not because you’re hungry, but because you’re bored and you wanna see if something magically made itself since the last 17 seconds)
2. Unlock your phone, scroll through all the pages, lock it and leave it. (Hoping your phone finally has something exciting on it)
3. When you “pull down to refresh” your Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat apps every second to see if there’s a new post
4. Refreshing your Notifications page on Facebook when you just posted something
5. Stalking that same person you did on Facebook or Twitter just a few minutes ago…
6. Check your fridge again (seriously stop)
7. Refreshing your newsfeed on Facebook every 5 seconds
8. Going “online” every two minutes on your Facebook mobile app to see if there’s anyone interesting to talk to
9. Scrolling through your chat list, then realising you hate everyone and go back “offline”
10. Checking your phone for the time, then checking it again because you realised you forgot to read the time, the first time. (yeah this is quite confusing)
11. Taking your glasses off, then realising you’re a blind rat without them so you put them back on
12. This one’s for all the bloggers- refreshing your ‘stats’ page to see if you’ve gotten any views after just publishing  #logic (yup you’re not alone)

4 Reasons Why Most Writers Don’t Make Much Money

Dysfunctional Literacy

Last year was a financial disaster if you look only at what I made from my writing.  I think my ebooks pulled in about $10.00 last year.  That’s okay because I hadn’t expected to make much, and evidently, I’m not alone.  An article in/at The Guardian shows that most writers (depending on how you define “most”) earned less than $1,000 from their writing last year, and you can’t really do much with that over the course of a year.  I don’t know what percentage earned $10.00 or less.  Maybe I don’t want to know.

Last year, famous rich author Elizabeth Gilbert said writing was “f*cking great.”  That was easy for her to say because she’s “f*cking rich” (I quoted myself there).  I make next to nothing from writing, and I still think writing is “f*cking great.”  I think I have more credibility on this issue than she does.  But even…

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